Feeling blue while on disability benefits?

There are a lot of perks while being disabled that one can think of, especially if you are currently working and hate your job or career.  But when you are on disability and you cannot work, there are some downfalls. 

First, you will enjoy your first year or two off from work.  Money is still coming in from your social security disability benefits.  Hopefully this will still remain the same, even if the USA goes into default on its bills.  This is a scary time and they say that if we did go into default, payments to social security for the elderly and disabled would possible still come, but late.  This would be disastrous for many people, like myself, I rely on that source of income.  It represents nearly 60% of my current income.  I am one of the lucky ones.  I get a decent amount of money, more than a thousand dollars each month and I don't have to work to receive it.  But who wants to really stay disabled the rest of their lives?  I certainly don't wish to, but I may have to stay here, in this situation until I retire.

Maybe you have a disability policy like myself where you have money coming in from another source - disability insurance.  These types of contracts will pay you money while you cannot work for reasons of sickness or from being hurt or in my case, mentally sick in the head.  Not all policies are the same.  Mine pays for itself through the power of "waiver of premium".   While disabled, the insurance policy payment gets paid, along with the benefit of the disability payment.  So you really get 2 payments paid all in one swoop.  Now, all policies are designed to give those who are mentally disabled only 2 years worth of benefits, so mine is used up as of 5 years ago.  You should purchase at least the 2 year benefit period-type of contract.  At least that amount will sufficiently cover any mental illness, and who knew that I was going to be challenged later in life due to my mental illness?  I certainly didn't plan this, but I did plan ahead, just in case - for something that was unforeseen.  Never thinking that I was going to go out like this - mental?   Really?  Me?  How could this happen to me?

Second, after the second year of being out of work, you start to get lazy and tired all the time.  This might sound good to be out of work and get paid, but it has its challenges.  I was depressed for such a long time, and still have my bouts of depression still.  It seems as if that never goes away.  You lose touch with reality as you lose your sense of society when you don't work.   In my case, I stopped wearing a watch and relied on my internal clock to tell me the time.   Time didn't matter to me, as I didn't have to be somewhere at any specific time.....I mean you have the car clock or tv clock always going and your clocks in the house.  Because of those clocks, I never worried about time, so out goes my watch for good.  I don't much like wearing one any longer cuz it just drags you down.   Why does society have to obey all the laws of being on time, especially having a watch.  It's like you have to buy a watch to be in society.   Now that I am out of touch, I don't wear a watch.   I don't socialize.   I don't have a life.   I am bored all the time, depressed for much of the time, and lonely some of the time.  Being out of work for such a long time does depress you.   You will feel this pain.  Regardless of your mental illness.

Thirdly, after 4 years of being disabled you become very bored.  Life doesn't seem to challenge you any longer.  This is true on all accounts except for one, your moods (in my case).  My personal relationships at home and abroad (far and few outside the house) are still challenged as you try to figure out how to feel good about bringing home some money, but not feeling the burn and work ethic of going out to your job.  Society makes us work.  Work is inbred in us.  I don't feel like someone who receives trust money or a big whopping life insurance policy from my family.   I just feel like I did my share of work, I put in my time, enough time to receive benefits and now I am not working, and left on disability - social disability benefits I do receive quite happily for the most part, but struggle with the fact that I didn't truly earn anything for my daily part of community that I have lost.  I don't feel like helping the poor.   I don't feel like working at a soup kitchen or anything that I never really did while I was working.   I am just uninvolved in community affairs and just try to provide for my family as best I can.

Fourth, after seven years of being on social security disability benefits, I await for the ball to drop and see a time when my benefits do run out.   What will I do then?   I fear this.  I bring in over one thousand dollars a month, directly deposited in my checking account.  This is good.   But when things are good, are they too good to be true?   Well I am living proof that hard work - from age 14/15 to 31...I mean tough work...does pay off in the long run, because our government provides for the family of those who become disabled for this reason or that.   I feel like society will go berserk once they realize that you can live sorta comfortably on SSDI for some time.   Adjust your expenses accordingly and you could live almost the same as you did before, but only if you personally plan beforehand, for this just in case circumstance. 

There is a loop hole in the system though.  What is it?   Well, social security reviews its beneficiaries once every 1-7 years.  And so long as you are disabled they cannot force you to go to work to get off of the benefits.  I think that this may be flawed.  What if someone was on drugs, medicating themselves during a psychotic break and found out that they had bipolar - depression or mania.  They took themselves off of the drugs on their own, got medication to treat the symptoms of bipolar disorder and any other mental illnesses they may have, and now feel okay.  They seemingly can go back to work, but what if they don't want to?  Can social security force them to work?   I don't think they can do this.  What if the mental illness rears it head again and causes the use of drugs again.  What ifs are abundantly clear in these situations.  But does that mean that the system can't kinda push one into working, sort of?  It's a system based on symptoms and if you still have them, whether they are as bad or not, you passed the test and now your "in the system" as a beneficiary.  So now the only way one can work, is if you want to try it again.   But you lose your benefits over time, and who wants to lose something they get for free?   I don't think anyone would do this, or not many would....  so they devised a system where you can try to go back to work, utilize vocational rehabilitation services to go back to school (which is what I somewhat tried to do for a short time) or learn new skills through voc. rehab...  But they leave plenty of room, so they say to try to go back to work, and if it isn't working, then you can stay on your benefits.  Is this right?  Should they push you a little more?   Let me know...  I think they should in my honest opinion. 

In my case, I tried vocational rehab and I didn't like it.  It seemed too hard to go back to school, to jump through all the hoops for to receive any benefits from that system to accomplish a school degree and get back to work with a new career path.  I felt cornered.  I felt belittled for my interests were challenged and I felt as if, and my fiance can vouch for me, that the lady I spoke with....my adviser from voc rehab, made me feel like I was mentally challenged and that I couldn't understand her.   I just approached things differently than she did and I felt discriminated against.  I really did.  My fiance is the one who told me "are you going to let her talk to you that way?"....and I did let her talk down to me.  I might challenge the system and cry discrimination.  I thought about it and the more I think about it, she did it to me before and so I have to say that I might go forward with a claim.  This is so like me.....defending myself because I am in a relationship, I am stable and I feel like I don't want to ever be walked upon again.   I survived mental, physical, emotional abuse when I was younger, and now I am older and more mature.  I won't let anyone abuse me again. 

So there you have it.   There are some things to think about before you decide to go on social security disability.   What to expect, what to know, what to learn about disability benefits in general and how to cope with your life after your been a beneficiary for a long time.   Hope you learned something today....