Lately I have been so out of it

What is it with me lately?  I have been so bored and have found no interest whatsoever in things I usually like to do.  I have been a hermit for the past few weeks and just staying home and being very bored out of my mind.  I am going crazy it seems. 

Life has become very dull and except for our move in a month, all I have been left doing is puttering around the house and packing boxes and throwing things once treasured out in the trash.  Nothing seems to matter to me lately and I think it is getting worse.  I mean, I don't want to hurt myself, no, I just wanna sleep or go away from this feeling.  I feel stuck.  Annoyed with how I am feeling inside.  My therapist tells me that feelings don't stay and that this too will pass, but I wish it would go away now.

The only joy I have found is searching online for music for our long drive to Florida.  I went on www.ijosephtv.com to find joseph and his friends dancing to remixed music.  I have thought about buying a nice video camera to do something similar with my partner, but haven't decided if it will be a phase or something I really want to do.  Recording myself singing or actually lipsyncing to favorite dance songs really inspires me, just to bring my mood up and makes me smile.  In the past we have recorded our voices on CDs and sometimes video taped ourselves singing as well.  But this would be a great next step to be able to record ourselves, edit the tape and make something creative out of it and place the skit or whatever it may be called on YouTube for the world to see.  I think this might aid me in my fight against this terrible illness which takes away so many good times in my life and shortens the time I like spending doing something enjoyable. 

If I were to get a great editing program and a better camera to record us singing that would be wonderful.  I think I would get a kick out of creating such a masterpiece and it would be fun.  Excitement even for a temporary time period. 

I would have to invest in some sort of screens for the backdrop, a tripod, a nice video camera, and maybe some wigs like Joseph uses to play along with the role of the star singing along side the musical talents of the real musician.  I really am inspired by Joseph's quality and happiness that he seems to portray in doing what he does, and as music inspires me to also want to do lipsyncing and dancing to music I want to express my greatest joy in really watching him act out and have fun.  He represents someone in me that I used to be when I went out clubbing.  I miss the scene but not all the drama that accompanies it.  I miss the music and movements that help to stay fit and exercised and just overall mood that the night of music brings into my soul.  Sometimes I wish the Frontrunner club was still open, especially since I live in Manchester now.