It was about me running away from several guys who were going to kill me, in this dream of being chased I somehow are able to coerce the attackers into letting me not be killed and instead me joining them. They had an axe and other weapons. This depicts my internalizing my own aggression of hurts or past fears or fear of being hurt.
I ended up having sex with them, I think they were all men. Oral sex, that is, to appease them. We searched for others to kill, we hid in a barn in the top floor, we were hunted ourselves.
It was a very intense dream that disturbs me. Of course the reference to homosexuality bothers me since I was raped by men and right now my sexuality in real life is at a standstill. It bothers my girlfriend and yesterday she mentioned it again, as a point of something she wants changed, rather soon. All I could do was listen, for I didn't have all the answers and never do anymore.
Most nights are filled with dreams liek these, that are vivid and affect my daytime greatly. It sets me off on a tangent for the rest of the day as I painstakingly try to forget what has just happened or what I have just visualized.
There is a medication that is supposed to stop these dreams called Prazosin, which I haven't yet taken because of costs of medication. I have doubts about a pill being able to control what kind of dreams I don't have, so I am not so apt to go out and get it right away. I guess I will have to live with these dreams a little longer.
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